I came to drink water.💧🐌♪

水を飲みに来たよ💧🐌♪

Hydration is essential for me.💧🐌💧

水分補給は重要です💧🐌💧

*kicks my feet playfully whilst lying on my front and lining up my sniper rifle*

a pack of 100 Vegas ants all working together to carry one single poker chip to a roulette table, betting it on red, watching it land on black, and each jumping into the nearest cocktail it can reach and drowning itself for the pride of the antill

gave the kids cucumber for the first time in a while. look at all those happy faces!

(Sarasinula plebia)

when your friend asks if you have any plans like nope just me and the skull lol

no fucking awoo. no awoo right now. its late. its not awoo time. its sleeping time. go the fuck to bed.

every fucking night, without fail, this post i made abt my dog gets mass reblogged by furries (and/or blorbo fans). and thats ok but i need ppl to know this is happening to me 

i dug ur grave shallow in case u change ur mind down there bro 🤙

tumblr keeps recommending gay pornography to me

gotta give em credit. i do like gay pornography.

Elias: welcome to your job at the real spooky story place

Jon: ok

*is given real spooky story*

Jon: bullshit